Co-dependency - about the horror of a companion
Unfortunately, despite the development of medicine and science, human behavior does not evolve in direct proportion to the acquired knowledge, and sometimes even the opposite. Everyone knows the harmful effects of alcohol or drugs. It is possible to accurately show the human body deformed by the harmful effects of stimulants, and this still has little effect on the behavior of addicts. What can NOT be shown in laboratory studies is the damage that has been inflicted on those who accompany addicts in their daily lives.
When there is an addict in the family, the consequences of his behavior take their toll on all members: spouse, children, parents, siblings. Not infrequently, they are the ones who suffer the most. And on top of that, they often suffer in silence, putting up with the addict's behavior, which paradoxically sustains him in his addiction, participating together in the "game of addiction."
"The Addiction Game".
is Eric Berne's term describing the mechanisms that play out between members of a family that includes an addict. Well, each person, plays a role, of which they may be completely unaware, that sustains the addiction in the family. Four characters form around the addict:
Intermediary
Accuser
Deliverer
Scapegoat
As you can easily guess,
intermediary
Is the person supplying the substance. He or she does it for the proverbial holy grail or wanting to save the addict himself or herself by dispensing the substance in the right amounts to control the dosage. He may also do it out of pity, seeing the addict agonize over withdrawal syndromes. In contrast
scarer.
plays a completely different role. He blames the addict, argues with him, points out to him exactly what he is doing wrong.
Beacon.
while he is that person who helps the addict to change. He plans how it should happen, always believes in the desire to change and is always ready to implement it. He remains
scapegoat.
, who puts up with the addict's behavior. Unfortunately, this role is played by children, who are the most frequent recipients of the aggression of the person in addiction. Family members may temporarily switch roles, and may play more than one role at a time. However, as long as they participate in the "game," they also participate in the mechanism that sustains the addiction. In order to end the game once and for all, and to help yourself and the addicted person with this, it is best to seek help from specialists - psychologists and psychiatrists in addiction therapy providing help, among other things, in adult therapy.
You are welcome to visit our Warsaw CPP clinic>. Author: Martyna Wrona - Marchel, psychologist
