The future does not depend on whether you pass the
April, May, June - for some, the prettiest months of the year, for others, the tension peaks. Which group you belong to often has to do with whether or not you have schooling behind you. Or: whether you have a child who is still learning
Late spring is a time when child and youth helpline consultants have non-stop busy lines. The calls come from those who have been hearing since September that how their eighth-grade exam depends on "everything" - their entire future. They are calling those, who, despite their efforts, are still below 30 percent in their test exams; those who already know that even if they stand on their heads, they won't make it to the next grade; those who are struggling to get their dream "A" in physics, and those who can't let go of another belt another stripe.
At the office, teenagers complain of abdominal pain and fatigue, of anxiety that prevents them from focusing, of the the pressure they feel from adults.
And the adults?
They are angry because Librus non-stop spits out information about illegal absences, unsubmitted work, collapsed corrections.
Because they want the best for the child best - a good school, good studies, a good job. Or: that it doesn't repeat a grade, because it will break down.
Sometimes they feel guilty - maybe they didn't see to it? Didn't they teach regularity, dutifulness? Maybe they were too indulged too much?
They are afraid that if they don't squeeze, the daughter will never embrace, and the son will squander his future.
And they meet in the kitchen: a teenager with a stomach ache and a mom with guilt - it sounds like a recipe for an explosive argument, right?
What can an adult do to not have an argument that helps no one?
One very difficult, but helpful:
lower the temperature of emotions - especially their own - and at the same time turn up the understanding of what's behind those feelings.
What am I afraid of when I think that son might not pass? Not having enough points to get into his first choice school choice?
Do my emotions and reactions Are they helping him?
How can he feel when he he can't cope with school, and I say in a raised voice that after all I I said it would end like this?
Baccalaureate can be repeated, school change - the approach to school success and the relationship with the teenage child too!
You are welcome to attend the consultation!
Joanna Sokolinska
